Stretch to Strength

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, after the initial shock, one of the very first things that crossed my mind was BUT WHAT ABOUT THE STRETCH MARKS. I went out and purchased the best of the best stretch mark oil that I could afford. I ensured that I rubbed that oil on my stomach religiously to ensure I ended this pregnancy with glowing beautiful skin free from stretch marks. Well at the end of those amazing 41 weeks (she was comfortable, so she extended her stay for a few extra days) there they were, the stretch marks I had fought so desperately against. I’m not sure exactly when they appeared because they appeared in places I wasn’t expecting them to show up. I had focused on the areas that I knew they were likely to form, however, I had neglected to give attention to the areas that I thought were safe from the stretching. We sometimes have areas like this in our day to day lives, areas we believed were "safe" from drama or growth & hurt, maybe parental relationships, or possibly long time friendships or even finances. These are our blindspot areas, where we expect things to go well, we don't expect our parents to say things that may hurt or we just know our friend of twenty plus years will support our dream or agree with us in conflict so we don't anticipate the pain or hurt that may come from them, but then it does. It catches us off guard because we expected it from people at work, maybe the friends at church we even expected it from our siblings but we certainly weren't prepared for the hurt, pain, drama or offense to stem from here.

Maybe you haven’t experienced the stretching that comes with child birth however maybe you have experienced the stretch marks that come from lifting that new level of weight in the gym, or from the weight gain that often comes from stressful times in your life, but no matter how you were introduced to these common skin abrasions, when we take a deeper look at these discolored, uncomfortable and unflattering scars you will see something a little more appealing than just marks. These scars tell the story of a time that you were required to stretch beyond your present level of capacity. A time that you were taking on something beyond what your body had ever handled before. Do you see that? These tiny marks are reminders that you carried a weight or made room for something that was foreign to your body at that present moment. You may ask yourself why I am talking about stretch marks? Because these little reminders are not limited to showing up in on our physical bodies, but they navigate their way to our life spiritually and emotionally as well. When you think back on that situation at work or in your family that still stings when you hear about it or remember what you went through with that person. That little twinge in your heart or in the pit of your stomach that happens when you think about these moments whether present or past, are stretch marks forming in your life. It might be a little itchy right now it may seem kind of uncomfortable at the present moment, you might not even be able to see the fullness of the capacity that you have reached yet. But honey that is definitely a stretch mark forming. Maybe its an opportunity to forgive in a way you never have before because other relationships weren't worth the hassle, or possibly its a time to step outside your comfort zone, make new friends, leave a relationship or maybe learn to trust yourself.

When I think about the beautiful form and grace of gymnast like Simone Biles, Nadia Comaneci and Gabby Douglas and I envision the graceful contortions and movements that they are able to make with their bodies, I am reminded of the work it must have taken to get there, the hours of stretching and practice that they put in, the amount of scars they must have earned from the falls and stretches that took them beyond the level of movement that they had into the next level. That’s exactly what’s happening to you, these uncomfortable moments and situations are increasing your capacity to trust God, to forgive, grow and move forward. That discomfort that you feel right now in your stomach will eventually become only a small discoloration and amount to nothing more than a reminder that this situation, person or circumstance helped you to increase your capacity to forgive, grow or love. That tiny scar will now serve as a reminder that you lifted a weight that you never believed you could carry.

My favorite bible story in regard to this type of stretching is Joseph (pretty great movie too). Joseph's betrayal from his brothers was I'm sure a completely unexpected place, surely even if he believed that they didn't like him, he never thought they would attempt to kill him or enslave him! I'm sure he thought at some point "How could they do this to me?". But look at where it took him, from prison to palace, and no it didn't happen over night. It wasn't a very simple process but he began to lift weights in his life that he didn't know he could carry. The very thing that forced him to stretch beyond what he had ever experienced was the same thing that spurred him into his calling, a calling that required him to lift the weight of being second in command in a mighty, beautiful and completely foreign land. In essence the weight he lifted i'm sure seemed small in comparison to where he ended up.

One of my favorite God mothers in the faith, Lisa Bevere, says that our “stretching creates flexibility, increases our reach and means that we are less likely to be injured with what God entrusted us with.” Did you read that? “Less likely to be injured with what God has entrusted us with”. These stretch marks are proof that we have done the work to be fully equipped to walk where God is calling us to go. Josephs brothers had deeply injured him physically and emotionally, and although the pain was very real at the time, without that pain he would have been far more likely to be hurt, arrogant or crippled in his calling. Imagine ifJospeh the pampered son had gone from being catered to and coddled, to being placed in a position where he needed to earn the respect of others, I imagine that he possibly would have become frustrated very quickly. He may have even had a since of entitlement that would have hindered Pharaoh from ever truly respecting him. Instead he was humbled, eager to serve and isolated and clearly able to hear from the Lord when that time came.

You may not be able to do it right now, but one day you’re going to smile at those stretch marks because when the weight you were intended to carry does come, you will be fully prepared and less likely to be injured, and you will have those stretch marks to thank for that. The discomfort will soon ease up and the pain will become more of a fond memory if you only focus on what The Father desires for you to learn here. Forgive them for the pain they caused, because holding on to this situation or circumstance only hinders you from seeing the beauty in what God will be able to do from and with this situation. The scripture says that he gives beauty for ashes and I think its time you hand him yours. I want to end with a simple prayer for you that you can say every time that discomfort tries to show itself in your life.

Heavenly Father I thank you for the stretch marks forming in my life, because your word says that what the enemy means for bad that you turn around and use for your glory. I ask that you help me to see this person and situation the same way that you do. I expect and accept the will you have for my life and how this will fit in because I believe that you know that plans you have for me, plans for good and not for evil, plans to give me hope and a future. I trust your will and I will not lean to my own understanding. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

-Shanika Shaunte